I was feeling so confident and happy after my 14 week appointment, then as time ticked by anxiety set in. I haven't felt a single flutter in many days...I know this is normal, but it still makes me worry. I have also lost 5 pounds which seems really odd now that I'm this far along. To top off my freakout I had a horrible nightmare that my baby died. Yesterday I reached my breaking point and decided to call my OB with a little nudge from a friend of mine. She helped me realize that that's what my doctor is for and he shouldn't have a problem with helping to calm my nerves. I also feel like being anxious is the wrong environment for a growing baby so I made the call!
I AM SO GLAD I DID!! The receptionist was extremely understanding and offered to have my doctor call me as soon as he could. He did just a hour or so later...from his cell phone...and was so welcoming and sensitive. He said, "Ohh...I don't want you upset!! Why don't you come in tomorrow morning and we'll take a little look! Okay?" I was so happy to have his support and not feel blown off the way I have so many times in the past by my RE.
So this morning I showed up 15 minutes early and expected a long wait since I didn't have an appointment and was being "sqeezed" in. They called me back in less than 5 minutes. I was so surprised!! Then the nurse who took me back to the room was so friendly and compassionate. She told me how she felt the same way with her first baby and that I shouldn't feel foolish at all for coming in for a "mind calming" visit. Then she told me that the doc was going to do an ultrasound so I could see the baby with my own eyes! I was stunned! I was sure he would only use a doppler for a few seconds just to prove to me that there was still a heartbeat and then send me on my way. Nope, he was going all out for this paranoid mama!!! How nice is that!?!?!?!
He instantly located the heartbeat and I literally felt a huge weight lifted off my worried mind as I took a big sigh of relief. I'm not sure how I got so worked up with worry that there was something wrong with my baby, but seeing that little heart pump was the best feeling EVER. Since I start week 17 tomorrow he told me that he would be able to tell me the gender for sure by now. Since Ben wasn't with me I told him that I wanted to know, but not until my husband could find out at the same time. Dr. F suggested that since he was recording the sonogram on DVD (yes, he doubled checked that this time it was actually working) that he write "boy" or "girl" on the screen while I look away and then Ben and I could watch the DVD together later. I loved the idea and told him to go for it! It turns out that the umbilical cord was running right between Baby's legs, so once again he couldn't determine the sex no matter how hard he tried. This baby really doesn't want us to know it's secret!! Ha!! Oh well...we have our anatomy scan in 3.5 weeks so hopefully then we will finally learn if we are having a son or a daughter. Dr. F did get a shot of my baby sucking its thumb though! This picture totally melts my heart!!!
I also ordered a fetal doppler yesterday from Ama.zon. I figured that if I could listen to the HB at home whenever I want then I will probably not freak out as easily anymore. Based on the reviews the doppler got, it seems like it will work great. I'll update when it arrives!
Ps. I nominated some of my bloggy friends for an award yesterday (I wish I could have nominated so many more of you wonderful ladies) so if you missed that post please be sure to go check it out!! Love you guys!! XOX
SIlence is bliss?
5 weeks ago