It's just this...I FEEL like I've been pregnant for almost a year now. I know you other IVF mommas out there will get me on this one. When you make the decision to get underway with an IVF cycle you're already in the mindset of being pregnant. Your daily focus is on prenatal vitamins, hormone injections, ovary sonograms, doctors appointments and eating healthy. We are completely aware that our bodies may be on the verge of pregnancy so we mentally have already begun our gestation. The truth is, it could be two months of this before we are actually pregnant. By the time we actually conceived we have been thinking about this pregnancy day in and day out for weeks and weeks or even months.
So my other friends (one excluded because she conceived via IUI so she went through a lot of that mental prep) found out they were pregnant weeks or months after I had already committed to this daily routine of "being pregnant." Two of them have had their babies for 2 months or more and the last friend (who was due right when I was due) already has her baby in her arms too!!! When is it my turn?!?! I know this sounds crazy and impatient, but it's truly where I am right now.
I feel like I have been pregnant forever and I'm having trouble seeing the end. I have the same feelings that I did when everyone else around me was getting BFPs and I was always stuck with a BFN. Now I realize that there is a baby inside me and eventually she will show up, but in the mean time I feel left out from my group of peers especially since their pregnancies seemed to be so much shorter than mine. (In reality two of them were since they delivered at 33 weeks and 37 weeks...I am just starting my 39th week!) I started this IVF cycle October 1st, 2009....so I translate that as being the day I learned I was pregnant if I were like most women who wake up one morning and can just pee on a stick...and surprise! If this were the case, my due date would have been sometime around June 11th. It's now July 29th and I still have two more weeks...and that's assuming that she's not late. Ugh! So here's my point...I have already been mentally pregnant for 10 full months (Oct thru July). I have learned of new pregnancies and since gone to meet their babies....and I'm STILL pregnant!!
Can anyone tell that I'm feeling beyond READY!!! I know I sound like a whiny little bitch, but please spare me the nasty comments. I realize how fortunate I am to even be pregnant. I'm trying chill. I really am....I just wish that I still had a pregnant friend around me........tick tock, tick tock......another month is about to start and I feel like this baby is never going to arrive....
This waiting is making me CRAZY!!
(Thanks for reading my venting session...I feel much better now. I know she will be here soon....I know, I know...you really don't need to tell me that. It's just that I'm so SO READY to meet my baby after trying to conceive her for 3 years. It's hard to sit back and relax and just wait.....it really is.)
I'll leave you with this picture...I took my 7 year old niece to the zoo a few weeks ago and we came across this pregnant rhino. They have a 16 month gestation period and she was in her 12th month. It was so hot and she was just wallowing in the water with birds climbing on her...I really felt for that old girl!!! I feel like I'm on Rhino-gestation time!!!!! HA!