Last night I attended my first Yoga For Pregnancy class and was very happy with the experience. I have always enjoyed regular yoga classes for the centering in brings while using muscle and breath in unison. Last night's class was particularly enjoyable because it was so focused on surrounding my energy around my baby. The instructor was genuine and brought a certain calm to the room. It was a very peaceful environment to be in.
I learned some alternative poses that will come in handy as my belly grows. We also did exercises that worked on certain areas that are not focused upon in your average yoga class. We did Kegels as a group!! It made me want to giggle as I thought of the Samantha Jones' character from Sex and the City smuggly annoucing to her friends that she was doing hers "right now."
In the beginning of class we all sat in a circle (there were about 17-20 of us) and took turns telling our name, how far along we were and if there were any particular areas of discomfort that we'd been feeling so that our instructor could incorporate a targeting exercise or stretch into the evenings class. The majority of the women were 2o - 38 weeks along and most of them had these big, beautiful, round belly's. Being only 11 weeks I felt like the youngest one there (even though I was definitely not.) I felt like a freshman or something so I didn't mention anything about my sore back since I imagined that everyone would roll their eyes at me for having any type of physical discomfort so early in my pregnancy.
After years of being a pregnant wanna-be as Ben and I endured our infertility, last night I still had the same old familiar feelings of being among the enemy. All those round abdomens that I had literally run from not very long ago. There I was choosing to be in a room FULL of women who's very presence had caused me many tearful breakdowns in the recent past. How can I actually belong here now? Weird!! Obviously I'm still in disbelief about my pregnancy. I can't wait until my belly is big and round too. Maybe then I won't feel like such an imposter. Then again, I will always remember what it was like to live on the other side. Perhaps my new challenge is to learn how to live paralleling the two existences. Infertile turned pregnant....its like poor turned rich. I feel like I won the lottery and now I am learning to adjust to the good life leaving all my grief and pain behind.
Anywho...after I got over my silly 11 week insecurities that were all totally in my head I thoroughly enjoyed the class. It moved at a good speed I loved focusing my energy inward to my miracle baby. He or she is really in there and last night helped me get one step closer to truly believing it....cause clearly the ultrasounds weren't proof enough. Gawd! I must sound so silly!!