I went to a sweet baby shower on Saturday for a friend of mine who is also having a little girl. The weather was gorgeous and it just seems like the perfect day for such an event. When I walked in I was greeted by the three hosts who are all good friends to the mother-to-be. I gave everyone a hug and was really glad to be there with such a nice group of ladies. As I walked in the kitchen the host, whose house it was, offered me a "non-alcoholic" beverage since everyone else was drinking a champagne punch. I smiled and accepted. Last time I saw her, two months ago, she had just announced that she was 10 weeks pregnant. I loved hearing the news as I was only 4 weeks ahead of her so I instantly envisioned all the fun play groups we would have with all these pregnant girls expecting around the same time! As she handed me a glass of sparkling juice I happily asked her if she had found out if she was having a boy or a girl yet. Her face went straight and she said, "I just lost the baby last week." Her pain stung through my core and I felt SO stupid for asking her that question...especially in front of 3 or 4 other women. Of course I said I was so, so sorry. The mood totally changed int he room. I felt sick as she awkwardly changed the subject. She was very gracious and moved through the party as if nothing bad had happened recently and that someone (ME) hadn't brought that pain right to the surface with her question. She was amazing.
I enjoyed watching the big bellied momma open her gifts and smile at all her friends for being there celebrating this with her, but in the back of my mind I couldn’t fully focus. I kept thinking about what it must have been like for the host. How the hell could she still hold her head high at a baby shower at HER house after loosing her own baby only a short week before at 18 weeks along? Talk about a nightmare!!
I wanted to go hug her and tell her that her news made me hold back tears. I didn't know what to do. I left the party feeling like a complete ass for bringing it up. How was I supposed to know....She still looked pregnant because it had JUST happened!! I feel terrible for her and all the women who have lived through this. It is just heartbreaking!!
SIlence is bliss?
5 weeks ago