Though I haven't always been a church going regular or one to say a prayer before every single meal, I definitely believe in a higher power. There have many times over the last few years that I've privately plead to God, "I'm ready to be a mother. Please hear my prayers and bless us with a baby. Please." Even though these prayers haven't been answered yet I wont give up. Perhaps there are still some lessons I need to learn to be ready.
After our first IVF failed I lost my faith all together. The pain was so great that I felt like we lived in a Godless world and I was angry a lot. Time softened the edges and I realized that blaming and being angry with God was totally inappropriate. I needed to look inside myself for the strength to move forward and only then could God help me. My faith has since returned.
Feeling like I need more than prayers to rely on, I make sure we both take lots of vitamins and minerals daily that are recommended by our doctor to enhance our fertility health. Having healthy eggs and sperm and a healthy womb are the keys to a healthy pregnancy, so bring on the prenatal vitamins along with extra Omega-3 fatty acids, Vitamins C, E & D, Folic Acid, Zinc, DHA, etc, etc... It's a lot to swallow, but I believe it will be worth it!
This post actually brought me to tears.. I understand that feeling of being angry with God...but I think you are right in believing in yourself again.. I can't wwait to get that phone call that says it was POSITIVE!!! I'll be in the car WITH A BOX OF MATERNITY CLOTHES READY JUST FOR YOU :)
ReplyDeleteDevon...your words keep touching me to tears. I am so glad (and blessed) to have all your loving support!! Thank you! I love you.
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