Things that make you go, "Hmmm??"

I got a call this morning from a woman named Colleen. She informed me that she is a Registered Nurse from Humana's Health and Wellness department. She continued on to tell me that because we have such a great insurance plan through my husband's employer that I can call her any time during my pregnancy if I ever have questions or concerns. She told me about their services and some of the informational packets and DVDs they are putting in the mail to me. All the while she held a tone of voice that tried to express sincere concern and interest in my wellbeing. As pleasant as she was, I could tell that she was reading from a script. I was also a bit skeptical about why my insurance company would be going out of there way to help me out...doesn’t that just cost them more money? I thought that insurance companies always tried to get away with paying as little as possible ... I mean com'on their bottom line is all about profit, right? Sick! Anyways, back to the mysterious phone call....


She proceeded to ask me some questions:

What kind of activities are you doing to help maintain fitness during your pregnancy?
I walk my dogs several times a day and do prenatal yoga twice a week.

What kind of food are you eating these days?
Lots of fruit, veggies, lean meat, milk, and tons of fluids, etc, etc...I'm doing my best to eat healthy.

Are you exposed to cigarette smoke or any other environmental factors that concern you?
No.

Ok, so these questions seem pretty normal for the general population. They are just making sure that I know how to live a healthy pregnancy...i.e. not eating McDonalds for every meal and sitting on my ass 24 hours a day while smoking like a chimney. I get it; some people really don’t know these things are really bad for a developing fetus...and YOU for that matter. (And that’s a whole other issue for another day….)

She continued with the questions...

An average, how many alcoholic drinks do think you consumer each day?
Now? Ummm....ZERO!

Has anyone ever told you that they are concerned about your drinking habits?
No.

Are you using illicit drugs or are use exposed to drug use?
Hell No!

This is when I started realizing the purpose of this call....they are trying to help lower their liability by educating their insured moms-to-be. They act like they care about us and our babies, but really they just don't want to have to pay for the aftermath of fetal alcohol syndrome, premature birth, low birth weight or a whole host of other potential tragedies.

Then the final questions came that ultimately sparked my reason for writing this post.

Do you ever feel depressed?
No, I feel great. I've never been happier!!

Do you ever have the urge to harm yourself?
Ahh...NO.

Have you have been treated for depression?
No

Do you feel anxiety or fear about the fact that you are pregnant?
Look lady, I went through almost 3 years of trying to get pregnant and my husband and I eventually did In Vitro twice to achieve this pregnancy...I can assure you that this baby is very much wanted and I am as far from depressed as I've ever been in my life! I am HAPPY and healthy!!

She was sweet and said, "I'm glad to hear that." She then explained that some women are prone to psychological disorders in pregnancy due to an increase in hormones and that's why she was asking me those questions. I thanked her for the "concerned" call and we hung up, but not before she let me know that they will be checking in on me about every 4 weeks through the rest of my pregnancy...oh joy!

Later when I was out (being healthy) walking my dogs I was thinking about this call, and the whole concept started to irk me. Where were these "concerned" phone calls from my so called "caring" insurance company (who denied a huge majority of our infertility claims) while we were undergoing multiple IVF attempts? Where were they when our first IVF failed and we were left with an empty bank account, no frozen embryos and shattered hearts? If they had given a shit and called, the mental health questions might have gone more like this...

Do you ever feel depressed?
Every horrible second of every miserable day. I cry constantly.

Do you ever have the urge to hurt yourself?
I feel so hopeless and defeated that I've thought about slitting my wrists a time or two... (Not really for real, but I'm making a dramatic point here.)

Have you ever been treated for depression?
Not yet, but I am considering discussing an antidepressant with a doctor because I feel like I live under a dark, dark cloud all the time and its very hard to find any joy in my life.

Do you feel anxiety or fear about the fact that you're NOT pregnant?
Yes. I am terrified that I might never become a mother, that we will never hold our baby in our arms. I feel anxiety about this every day and it keeps me up at night. I don’t function like a normal person…I can't look at babies or pregnant bellies and I am becoming more and more withdrawn. Basically I’m all fucked up these days!!

See!!! When these would have been my answers I got NOTHIN' from this big, RICH company. They were no where to be seen when we needed their "Health and Wellness" support the most. And they think they can fool me into believing that NOW they care about me just because I'm pregnant. Please!! What a lame joke!!

** I am very grateful for my medical coverage because I know there are a lot of people who don't have any coverage at all. I just think is way fucked up that most insurance companies and healthcare plans turn their heads the other way when couples are dealing with a DISABILITY called infertility, but you can bet your ass they cover every other disability in the book. It just infuriates me that they treat having a family as 'elective' like having 'plastic surgery.' Insurance companies just have to make their profit, profit, profit!!! Ugh!!

Ok...my nasty rant is over with...I really am the happiest I've ever been in my life, I just had to get that off my chest! Back to smiles....