The COLD that won't quit!

I started coming down with this cold last Saturday (5 days ago). You know how that feels...the rawness in the back of your throat and nose that Tylenol does nothing to help. Rawness accompanied by achy, sneezing and headache...we've all had it. The stupid common cold. Usually, in my experience, these really uncomfortable symptoms last about a day or two then the congestion sets in and though you sound worse, you feel a lot better.

This time? Not the case! I'm thinking it must have something to do with being pregnant. I have had these awful raw symptoms for 5 days now. Where’s the snot?? The snot that soothes this terrible rawness that makes food taste horrible and even water feels gross going down. I would rather be so stuffy that I can't taste a thing than feel like this!!!

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer, but spring has Sprung and it's so nice outside, but I hardly feel like leaving my house. I guess all my body's nutrients and immunity are focused on growing a healthy baby, so that's why this cold is taking so much longer to kick. Ugh...any day now would be great!!

Nursery update: Even though I've felt like crap, I've been slowly getting things together in there. Little bits at a time then I go lay down. It's so much fun that I can't help myself even though I feel like shit. Pictures are coming soon!!

Happy Spring!!

I'm totally obsessed!!!

I'm totally obsessed with my baby girl and everything about her...nursery, clothing, bedding, gear and on and on and on!!!


I never imagined I would get so into decorating and all-things-baby, but it's all I think about and it's the most fun I've ever had. I guess I didn't realize how much I wanted a girl!!! What a blessing!

We picked out our nursery furniture set on Saturday and have to wait 7-10 days for it to be delivered!! Ugh...I am so excited to see the pieces in her room! We also bought her crib bedding set which is also taking forever to ship!! I know how impatient I sound and that must seem silly since we still have 19 weeks before she is suppose to arrive, but I am just so eager to get her room all set up so I can just sit there and admirer it. I told you I'm completely obsessed. I suppose it has a lot to do with the fact that it took us SO LONG to get here. All that time wanting to get to this point and never being sure if it would actually happen. Well, it is happening, so I am livin' it up as best I can!!!

(Of course I'll post pictures of the finished nursery when every eventually arrives!)

In the mean time I've been filling up my baby obsession with clothes shopping. I'm not buying that much, but I certainly am looking at every baby girl outfit in sight and buying the ones I can't resist!! I was at the mall yesterday looking in every baby store trying to keep my eye out for a very special dress. I wanted to find a tiny dress that was really well made and timeless. Something I can give to my daughter in years to come and tell her it was the first dress I ever bought for her. I went in the store, Janie and Jack, and found EXACTLY what I was looking for!! Blue velvet dress and bloomers, with embroidered pink roses in size 3-6 months. I figure she'll be wearing it this Thanksgiving! (I promise that this dress is MUCH prettier in person...photos just don't do it justice!)

I have looked at it about a thousand times since I brought it home. I just imagine it filled with our darling new baby and it blows my mind. I can hardly believe that we'll have our first child this summer. And that she'll be wearing this dress at Thanksgiving. Last year at Thanksgiving we were in our 2 week wait after IVF #2 and I hoped against all hope that this would be our future and now here we are living that dream....Amazing!!!

It's a..............

GIRL!!!

TEAM PINK!!!!!!!! :)

I'll update more later since Ben and I are going out to celebrate now, but I wanted to let all you wonderful bloggy friends know our exciting news asap. She is very healthy and everything looks perfect!! I have never been happier!!!! Time to SHOP for girlie nursery stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow's the BIG day!!

We have our 20 week anatomy scan tomorrow afternoon. Since the ultrasound is so long surely the technician will be able to finally determine the gender for us. I am so excited that I can hardly wait!! Boy? Girl? Hopefully tomorrow we won't have to wonder anymore!! And then I can SHOP!!!

We have started the basic plans for our nursery, but have wanted to know our baby's sex before buying anything...I can't wait to get the answer so I can start decorating!! :)

I had a dream last night that I was at the ultrasound and when the doctor put the wand on my belly we saw our baby's sweet little face and it was bobbing its head and mouthing words just like it was singing a song. Then he went to see if it was a girl or boy and I woke up....OH NO!!!! I wanted to know what it was!! Still it made me laugh that I dreamed that my baby was rockin out in utero!!

We're just praying for our baby to be healthy.

Only 27 more hours til it's baby viewing time!!!! YES!!

Belly Pic and the Aquarium

Today I went to the Newport Aquarium with my cousin and her 18 month old son. We had a blast looking at all the fishys! I was amazed by how different these "family" outings are for me now that I'm pregnant. I used to cringe at the thought of being surrounded by babies, toddlers, pregnant women and strollers all day, but now I felt right at home and saw it as a chance to observe how my life will be once our baby is born this summer. Holy crap I have a lot to learn!! For instance, my cousin just instinctively knew where all the elevators and ramps were...she said these are the types of things that you automatically learn as a new mom when you have a stroller every place you go. I can't wait to start this new adventure....still counting my lucky stars each day that I've been given the chance to experience the joy of becoming a Momma!!

After I got home and sat down to relax after being on my feet all day, my baby started fluttering away!!! Ahh....what a wonderful feeling!!! Best pregnant day yet!!

Quiz

How far along: 18th Week

Total Weight Gain: 9 lbs

Symptoms: I can't be on my feet for as long as I used to be able to. I hosted a dinner party over the weekend and by the end of the night I was exhausted. It was a fun evening so it was worth it. Other than that I have felt really like myself. I don't have any complaints. I really love being pregnant!

Maternity Clothes: For sure!! Tried a shirt the other day that I used to wear and it stopped above my waist...yikes!

Stretch Marks: Sadly, yes...but it's very light and I'm using Palmer's cocoa butter everyday. I figure they are inevitable since my mom and sister both got them, but I'm doing my best to minimize their appearance by using the lotion.

Sleep: Better now that we moved our little doggie back into her crate at night. She has been very spoiled and has slept with us for over a year, but now I just can't take it. Since it's harder for  me to get comfortable now, her movement is the bed was causing me to wake a lot in the night and I would push her off the bed. Sometimes that would wake Ben up too and we'd all three be awake...ugh. Now that we each have our own designated spot I think we are all sleeping better.

Best Moment Last Week: Walking the dogs with Ben and having it hit us all over again that I am REALLY pregnant and that we are REALLY expecting the baby we've dreamed about for so long!! It's so amazing to us!

Movement: Still very light flutters. I don't know if they've gotten lighter or I've gotten used to them, but sometimes I wonder if what I'm feeling is really the baby or just my digestion. I am getting very eager to feel stronger kicks so I am sure about what I'm feeling!! I know it should start happening soon so I'm trying not to be too impatient...it's tough though when everyone I know said they were feeling really unmistable kicks at this point!! Com'on Baby...Kick the Momma!!!

Food Cravings: I craved fried chicken last week which was strange since I used to find greasy fried chicken disgusting! Also I craved a milkshake last night and I found that odd too. I have never really cared for milkshakes. I have been doing my best to not indugle in every horrible craving I have and just stick to healthy, balanced meals. I also eat a Red Delicious Apple every night before bed....that's been my favorite snack of all!! 

What I Miss: Wine with dinner...

What am I looking forward to: Baby KICKS!!!

Milestones: hmmm...my stretch mark?...lol. Nothing really baby related since the last quiz since I still don't know the sex, and the kicks haven't really changed.

How is Daddy? Wonderful! I know he's really looking forward to the baby's anatomy scan on March 19th. We both can't wait to learn the gender of our little Pea!!

Things that make you go, "Hmmm??"

I got a call this morning from a woman named Colleen. She informed me that she is a Registered Nurse from Humana's Health and Wellness department. She continued on to tell me that because we have such a great insurance plan through my husband's employer that I can call her any time during my pregnancy if I ever have questions or concerns. She told me about their services and some of the informational packets and DVDs they are putting in the mail to me. All the while she held a tone of voice that tried to express sincere concern and interest in my wellbeing. As pleasant as she was, I could tell that she was reading from a script. I was also a bit skeptical about why my insurance company would be going out of there way to help me out...doesn’t that just cost them more money? I thought that insurance companies always tried to get away with paying as little as possible ... I mean com'on their bottom line is all about profit, right? Sick! Anyways, back to the mysterious phone call....


She proceeded to ask me some questions:

What kind of activities are you doing to help maintain fitness during your pregnancy?
I walk my dogs several times a day and do prenatal yoga twice a week.

What kind of food are you eating these days?
Lots of fruit, veggies, lean meat, milk, and tons of fluids, etc, etc...I'm doing my best to eat healthy.

Are you exposed to cigarette smoke or any other environmental factors that concern you?
No.

Ok, so these questions seem pretty normal for the general population. They are just making sure that I know how to live a healthy pregnancy...i.e. not eating McDonalds for every meal and sitting on my ass 24 hours a day while smoking like a chimney. I get it; some people really don’t know these things are really bad for a developing fetus...and YOU for that matter. (And that’s a whole other issue for another day….)

She continued with the questions...

An average, how many alcoholic drinks do think you consumer each day?
Now? Ummm....ZERO!

Has anyone ever told you that they are concerned about your drinking habits?
No.

Are you using illicit drugs or are use exposed to drug use?
Hell No!

This is when I started realizing the purpose of this call....they are trying to help lower their liability by educating their insured moms-to-be. They act like they care about us and our babies, but really they just don't want to have to pay for the aftermath of fetal alcohol syndrome, premature birth, low birth weight or a whole host of other potential tragedies.

Then the final questions came that ultimately sparked my reason for writing this post.

Do you ever feel depressed?
No, I feel great. I've never been happier!!

Do you ever have the urge to harm yourself?
Ahh...NO.

Have you have been treated for depression?
No

Do you feel anxiety or fear about the fact that you are pregnant?
Look lady, I went through almost 3 years of trying to get pregnant and my husband and I eventually did In Vitro twice to achieve this pregnancy...I can assure you that this baby is very much wanted and I am as far from depressed as I've ever been in my life! I am HAPPY and healthy!!

She was sweet and said, "I'm glad to hear that." She then explained that some women are prone to psychological disorders in pregnancy due to an increase in hormones and that's why she was asking me those questions. I thanked her for the "concerned" call and we hung up, but not before she let me know that they will be checking in on me about every 4 weeks through the rest of my pregnancy...oh joy!

Later when I was out (being healthy) walking my dogs I was thinking about this call, and the whole concept started to irk me. Where were these "concerned" phone calls from my so called "caring" insurance company (who denied a huge majority of our infertility claims) while we were undergoing multiple IVF attempts? Where were they when our first IVF failed and we were left with an empty bank account, no frozen embryos and shattered hearts? If they had given a shit and called, the mental health questions might have gone more like this...

Do you ever feel depressed?
Every horrible second of every miserable day. I cry constantly.

Do you ever have the urge to hurt yourself?
I feel so hopeless and defeated that I've thought about slitting my wrists a time or two... (Not really for real, but I'm making a dramatic point here.)

Have you ever been treated for depression?
Not yet, but I am considering discussing an antidepressant with a doctor because I feel like I live under a dark, dark cloud all the time and its very hard to find any joy in my life.

Do you feel anxiety or fear about the fact that you're NOT pregnant?
Yes. I am terrified that I might never become a mother, that we will never hold our baby in our arms. I feel anxiety about this every day and it keeps me up at night. I don’t function like a normal person…I can't look at babies or pregnant bellies and I am becoming more and more withdrawn. Basically I’m all fucked up these days!!

See!!! When these would have been my answers I got NOTHIN' from this big, RICH company. They were no where to be seen when we needed their "Health and Wellness" support the most. And they think they can fool me into believing that NOW they care about me just because I'm pregnant. Please!! What a lame joke!!

** I am very grateful for my medical coverage because I know there are a lot of people who don't have any coverage at all. I just think is way fucked up that most insurance companies and healthcare plans turn their heads the other way when couples are dealing with a DISABILITY called infertility, but you can bet your ass they cover every other disability in the book. It just infuriates me that they treat having a family as 'elective' like having 'plastic surgery.' Insurance companies just have to make their profit, profit, profit!!! Ugh!!

Ok...my nasty rant is over with...I really am the happiest I've ever been in my life, I just had to get that off my chest! Back to smiles....

OMG!! WTF??

Has anyone seen the show Platinum Babies?

I just stumbled upon it this afternoon on the WE channel and no matter how much it shocked me I couldn't stop watching. Part of its ok...cute nursery ideas, shower game ideas, etc., but the rest of it is completely unnecessary!!

This one couple had a baby shower that cost them.... $75,000.00 .... I threw up a little bit in my mouth when I saw it!! Then these moms-to-be were given gifts like Gucci baby shoes ($250.00) and designer diaper bags ($2200.00) Seriously?? Do you think their babies really know the difference....NO!! Let's get real people!! Total NON-SENSE I tell ya!!!

Of course all these bitches got pregnant really easily too....I guess some people just have it all. GRRR!!!

I realize I sound like a big bitch right now....I'll blame it on my hormones!! LOL