A LONG Mental Gestation

I'm officially the last of my friends in real life who is still pregnant. My good friend and prenatal yoga buddy just gave birth yesterday...a week and a half early. Our due dates were only 3 days apart. I had two other women who were pregnant with me (they were both about 8 weeks ahead of me) and it was so fun to be around them when we all had our baby bumps. They've all had their babies now (all went early to boot) and I'm the only one left wondering when mine will decide to show up. I still have 13 days until my due date, so I realize I shouldn't hold my breath...Chances are I'll probably go late since they were all so early....

It's just this...I FEEL like I've been pregnant for almost a year now. I know you other IVF mommas out there will get me on this one. When you make the decision to get underway with an IVF cycle you're already in the mindset of being pregnant. Your daily focus is on prenatal vitamins, hormone injections, ovary sonograms, doctors appointments and eating healthy. We are completely aware that our bodies may be on the verge of pregnancy so we mentally have already begun our gestation. The truth is, it could be two months of this before we are actually pregnant. By the time we actually conceived we have been thinking about this pregnancy day in and day out for weeks and weeks or even months.

So my other friends (one excluded because she conceived via IUI so she went through a lot of that mental prep) found out they were pregnant weeks or months after I had already committed to this daily routine of "being pregnant." Two of them have had their babies for 2 months or more and the last friend (who was due right when I was due) already has her baby in her arms too!!! When is it my turn?!?! I know this sounds crazy and impatient, but it's truly where I am right now.

I feel like I have been pregnant forever and I'm having trouble seeing the end. I have the same feelings that I did when everyone else around me was getting BFPs and I was always stuck with a BFN. Now I realize that there is a baby inside me and eventually she will show up, but in the mean time I feel left out from my group of peers especially since their pregnancies seemed to be so much shorter than mine. (In reality two of them were since they delivered at 33 weeks and 37 weeks...I am just starting my 39th week!) I started this IVF cycle October 1st, 2009....so I translate that as being the day I learned I was pregnant if I were like most women who wake up one morning and can just pee on a stick...and surprise! If this were the case, my due date would have been sometime around June 11th. It's now July 29th and I still have two more weeks...and that's assuming that she's not late. Ugh! So here's my point...I have already been mentally pregnant for 10 full months (Oct thru July). I have learned of new pregnancies and since gone to meet their babies....and I'm STILL pregnant!!

Can anyone tell that I'm feeling beyond READY!!! I know I sound like a whiny little bitch, but please spare me the nasty comments. I realize how fortunate I am to even be pregnant. I'm trying chill. I really am....I just wish that I still had a pregnant friend around me........tick tock, tick tock......another month is about to start and I feel like this baby is never going to arrive....

This waiting is making me CRAZY!!

(Thanks for reading my venting session...I feel much better now. I know she will be here soon....I know, I know...you really don't need to tell me that. It's just that I'm so SO READY to meet my baby after trying to conceive her for 3 years. It's hard to sit back and relax and just wait.....it really is.)

I'll leave you with this picture...I took my 7 year old niece to the zoo a few weeks ago and we came across this pregnant rhino. They have a 16 month gestation period and she was in her 12th month. It was so hot and she was just wallowing in the water with birds climbing on her...I really felt for that old girl!!! I feel like I'm on Rhino-gestation time!!!!! HA!

Full Term and READY!

How far along: 37 Weeks, 1 Day ... 20 days until our due date!!!


Total Weight Gain: 30 lbs

Symptoms: A ton of BRAXTON HICKS CONTRACTIONS!! And the the most relentless heartburn ever! Overall though I still feel quite healthy.

Sleep: I still sleep really well....but when I wake up I'm still tired. I'm sleepy a lot these days....so glad I have my mom and dad here to help with meals and my dogs and my house, etc, etc. They are so good to us!!

Most recent Doctor’s Appt: Great! My BP was 110/60, baby's HB was 145 and my cervix was starting to soften and efface. No dilation yet. Doc thinks labor could start tonight or 4 weeks from now...no way to really know. I'm hoping for sooner than later!!

Best Moment Last Week: Baby Shower #3...two of my best friends (Chris & Cary) hosted a ladies only afternoon shower for me. It was SO FUN having all my girls (well most of them) in one place at one time! Everyone was so generous and I felt so special. One of my mom's friends wrote a song and performed it for the group and one of my wonderful hosts (Cary) made me a special baby shower party hat to wear! Chris brought tons of beautiful pink Hydrangeas from her mother's garden. I even had a couple girls drive in from out of town...as far as 4 hours away!! It was so special!!! I will always cherish the memories!! Here are some pictures...

My super special, one of kind, party hat! :)

SOOO many generous baby gifts!

Amanda performing the lullaby she wrote for my baby!

Chris's beautiful flowers

Cary handmade the decorations!! They were awesome!

Movement: All the time. I can tell she's getting cramped in there!

Food Cravings: Greater's Mocha Chip Ice Cream!!

What I Miss: Nothing! (well, that's not true...I do miss drinking wine and being able to tie my own gym shoes...not much longer!!)

What am I looking forward to: Meeting my baby on her birthday!!!

Milestones: Getting our hospital bags packed, washing Morgan's newborn clothes, blankets, etc and getting her baby gear (swings, bouncer, etc) all set up!! We are totally ready!! We have everything but the baby!!! :)

How is Daddy? He is just as eager as I am to meet our little bundle! We are both SO EXCITED and feeling beyond GRATEFUL that we get to experience this joy as we await her arrival!

Our Maternity Pictures

Getting ready to nurse...

Days left to my due date: 29!!!

My parents have been in town which is wonderful!! I am so loving my time with my mom. It means the world to have her here with me!! Yesterday she went shopping with me for nursing bras, tanks, nighties and tops. I am so glad she was with me because it turned into a wild goose hunt that I may have not handled as well without her.

First we went to Macy's and found a sales consultant and asked her where we could find the nursing section. She sent us downstairs. I waddled all the way down and we ran into another consultant in the lingerie department. When we inquired about the nursing bra section she sweetly told us that they didn't have any in this season. Seriously??

My first thought, "Apparently it's not Vogue to nurse. Perhaps next season it will be back in style." How could this be? She was very nice, but repeated that there just wasn't any nursing clothes available in the entire store and suggested that we try Dilliards. Ugh...on to the next huge department store to waddle through...my back is starting to feel very sore after only 5 minutes of standing these days.

So my mom and I walk into Dilliard's and find the nightie and lingerie department and ask one of their sales people for the nursing section...she just looks at us and plainly says while shaking her head, "we don't carry any of that."

WTF!?!? I didn't realize that it was going to be so hard to find a store that sells this stuff. My biggest concern was finding a bra that fits since I'm way above average in cup size, but this was even more frustrating than that!

As we hit the road to go to yet another store I was thinking, "no wonder so few women really nurse their babies anymore." It makes sense when the two biggest stores at the mall make it seem like nursing is for freaks! I really didn't expect that this part would be so hard!

My goal is to nurse my baby for 9-12 months so finding some nursing bras and tops is pretty important to me! We arrived at Motherhood Maternity and finally they had the right stuff! I purchased their biggest bra in the store....size 44F!! (That F stands for holy F*CK my boobs are big!) And I was able to get 5 shirts that look half decent too!! I also got a nursing nightie that I plan on packing in my hospital bag.

Phew! I did it....thanks to my mom's help and perseverance! Nursing is already proving to be ONLY for those who are seriously committed!!!

Shower # 2 and An Update!

I have been so M.I.A. from blog land!! I haven't posted in days, but I promise I have been keeping up with all my bloggy buddies (even if I've been bad at commenting.)

 Summer is such a busy and fun time! My parent's got into town a week ago so we've been enjoying their company. We also were thrown a second couple's shower that included mostly my family and some close family friends. Our first shower was with Ben's family so it was great to celebrate with everyone on my side too! This baby will definitely be surrounded by two loving families!

My cousin, Rachael, organized the evening and it was great. It was a 4th of July shower so after a grilled dinner and gifts the whole party was able to watch the downtown fireworks (we have a view of the Cincinnati skyline from our back deck) and that ended the evening on a very festive note. Here are a few pictures...

Me and a pregnant friends sharing an O'Douls.

My sweet hubby, Ben!

Our baby's 1st Piggy Bank (I gave this to him b/c Ben works in finance and always talks about how he's going to teach his little girl how to save and invest....ha!)

Of course the little girls were right in the action!  So Cute!

All the kiddos!! :)

Quick update: We had an ultrasound last Friday just so our doc could make sure everything is still going well. She was measuring 5 lbs 4 ozs which is perfectly average. My fluid was 15 and we were told that everything looks perfect!! Best news ever!!! Can't believe there is only 36 more days until our due date!! She'll be here in no time!!

On to shower # 3 this coming weekend! This group is going to be all my lady friends hosted by two of my best friends. I'm especially looking forward to having all my girlfriends in one place at one time!! What fun!! I don't think I've ever been more happy. We feel so blessed these days.