29 Weeks, 1 Day

How far along: 29 weeks, 1 day
Total Weight Gain: Ugh...who cares. I know it's more than 20lbs now. My doctor has said all is right on track, but at this point I'm avoiding the scale since it's kinda freaks me out.

Symptoms: Heartburn has really eased up. I have it occasionally, but nothing too severe at all. Other than that I feel pretty good most of the time. I'm always hungry too. I feel like a big round-rolly-polly who's movements are compromised, but I still feel really healthy and that's what matters!

Sleep: I'm needing more of it these days and fortunately I still sleep well so that's good.

Best Moment Last Week: Trading in my beloved Mustang Convertible (not baby or car seat friendly at all) for a Cadillac CTS (sporty-mommy car). I absolutely love the new car so that made it easier to say goodbye to my old one.

Movement: All the time. I think I can feel every little thing she does now. I love it, but sometimes at night I wonder if she's ever going to stop squirming so I can fall asleep. Oh and she's gotten the hiccups a few times now which feels really funny.

Food Cravings: Skyline Chili (It's a Cincinnati thing.)

What I Miss: My mom and dad. I haven't seen my dad since November and I last saw my mom in March, but only for a couple days. They are coming to town this summer for 6 weeks over my due date ensuring that they'll be here for Morgan's birth so that will be wonderful to have their support and company!!

What am I looking forward to: This weekend is my first baby shower!!!  It's hosted by my sister-in-law up in Dayton, Ohio where my husband's family lives. I am looking forward to seeing everyone on his side of the family!!

Milestones: Visiting the hospital for their maternity tour. It was really nice to be able to see where everything will take place so we can picture it. Certainly makes it real now!

How is Daddy? Great! He's taking tomorrow off so we have a 4 day weekend together!! Rare that he has that much free time with his busy work schedule. Looking forward to pool time at his parent's house!! :)

We finally got PICTURES!!!

Third time was the charm!! Here is my baby's sweet little face. I am sooo in love!!

In this photo she's making Daddy's grouchy face.

Doc appt. & 3D/4D Imaging Take Two

We had our last monthly appointment with our OB on Wednesday (from now on we go every two weeks until the last month when we'll go every week) and every thing looked great!! My blood pressure was low (111/62) and Baby's HB was 160. My belly is measuring just right and my weight is right on target. I also had my glucose challenge and hemoglobin blood tests. Hopefully they come back just fine (they are supposed to call me with the results today). If they do come back normal, I will have an excellent bill of health. Something I definitely will not take for granted in this 28th week. Health is such a blessing, especially during pregnancy! I have tried to stay as healthy as possible throughout...yoga class, walking daily, lots of veggies, lean protein, and water. No caffeine and plenty of rest. Most days I really couldn't feel better!

Last night we went back to the Becoming Mom Spa to try again to see our baby's face. Last time she was sound asleep and totally curled up with all her limbs in front of her face and she didn't budge during the whole 30 minute session. This time I tried something new to get her moving...Dr. Pepper! I drank the whole soda with dinner just before our appointment hoping that she would be very active. Not so much! She was STILL in the same position and the caffeine had no effect on her, but it sure did on me since I haven't had it in so long! 

We spent another 30 minutes looking at her as she occasionally would shift a leg or an arm just a bit, but not enough to uncover her whole face at once. We got a glimpse of her nose and eyes as she sucked on her wrist, then she'd move her hand up covering the upper part of her face and we could see her mouth still moving as she tried to find her arm again. It was so sweet!! My heart almost melted!! We got to admirer each little digit of one foot and her hands and we saw her tiny little knee bent up against her chest. It was incredible and I enjoyed every moment of it. Since this place has a guarantee that they can get a whole face shot they sent us home again with another appointment (free of charge) scheduled for next week. 

As Ben and I walked to the car we felt like we were getting the best deal ever. We only paid for a 20-30 minute session last week, but since our little munchkin loves having her hands and feet in her face so much we have already had an hour of their time to just watch our baby on the big screen and we get another 30 minute session next Thursday! (This must be unusual otherwise I have no idea how this place makes any money!!) I know their objective is to photograph her face so they keep apologizing for making us come back, but to us, every inch of her body is beautiful so all these extra 3D/4D sessions are absolutely fine with us!! I'm just thinking, "Sure! I'll come back again and again to spend 30 minutes looking at my child!!" It's almost like my wish of turning my belly into a fish bowl, so I can watch her all the time until she's born, is almost coming true!! (For those of you wondering...YES!! THESE ULTRASOUNDS SESSIONS ARE COMPLETELY SAFE FOR THE BABY!!)

And finally, here's my most recent belly pic...

UPDATE: Doctor called and my GTT was normal!! Yay! I can still eat chocolate!!

I am the proud Mama of a Pretzel Baby!!

For my first Mother's Day Ben's gift was to take me to Becoming Mom Spa to have a 30 minute 3D/4D session with out our little bun in the oven. (3D because the pictures are taken in 3D and 4D because we can view her movements live on the TV screen...That's for Sonja who asked and anyone else who was wondering.)

So we go there and of course we were both VERY excited to see what her face looks like. The tech put the wand on my belly and instead of seeing her face we saw everything but! Not only were her hands covering her face, but her FEET were too! She couldn't have done a better job hiding herself. The tech was even a little surprised by how curled up she was. We tried moving me from side to side and I even got up to dance around a bit to see if we could get her to move, but she was sound asleep and not budging.

It reminded me of how our dog Libby sleeps:

The good news is that everything looked perfectly healthy. Her heartbeat was 148, the fluid was in good supply, and all her limbs looked great...and long! We even got a few moments when a hand moved just slightly so we could see her mouth moving as it inhaled and exhaled amniotic fluid practicing for when she'll be breathing air. With her feet clear up to her forehead we got a excellent view of, well.... it's definitely a GIRL! There was no mistaking that!

Thankfully this Spa guarantees a full face shot so we were able to reschedule another 30 minute session free of charge. We go back this Thursday evening, and maybe then she'll be ready to show us her sweet little face!!

I know...I'm so impatient!! I just can't wait 'til August to get her first picture taken!! :)

What are these unstoppable tears all about?

I took my dog, Bunny, to get spayed this morning.


She just turned 2 last month, so Ben and I finally made the decision that the right thing to do is have her spayed. It was really a topic we didn't want to address while we were in the depths of infertility and IVF. I guess we just assumed that if we couldn't ever have our own babies, some day we might breed her and keep one of her puppies. It wasn't a clear thought out plan but nonetheless it was on the back burner.

We've been through three heats with her, and let me tell you, it sucks for all of us when she has to wear doggie diapers for 2-3 weeks. With an approaching 4th heat we've decided that now that we have a baby due in just 3 months it's as good a time as any to get it taken care of. We definitely don’t need to worry about our newborn AND changing our dog’s diaper at the same time!

I drove her to the appointment this morning and felt this icky feeling in my stomach. I know that 99% of the time dogs make it through this procedure without a problem, but I couldn't help but thinking, "What if something horrible happens to her? What if they call me and tell me that she didn't tolerate the anesthesia?" I know...I was being totally paranoid and perhaps a little over dramatic. I just love her so much, so naturally I was worried.

They called and everything went perfectly. I could pick her up at 2 PM.

When I got there I paid the bill and they explained how to care for her over the next 14 days. Then they brought her out and put her in her pet taxi. I thanked them and got out the door with her as quickly (and carefully) as I could. We barely made it into my car before burst into sobbing tears. I cried and cried. She looked so small and miserable in her crate and I felt so overwhelmed with guilt and shame.

What the hell was going on? I was a puddle of tears as I drove down the road...yeah, really safe, I know! I just couldn't stop crying. As crazy as it sounds I felt (feel) so awful for taking her ability to have babies away from her. Damn! I just started crying again as I typed that! What is going on with me? I know dogs don't dream of the children (puppies) they'll have someday...at least I don't think they do. I'm pretty sure all my Bunny thinks about is her favorite ball and the park where I throw it for her. That and treats!

So why am I crying like an insane person? Pregnancy hormones? Yes, I'm sure they are adding a lot of unnecessary drama to this day. But I feel like there is something else...I guess I'm projecting my history of sadness about not being able to become pregnant on my dog. All those emotions have come roaring up from inside me and they make me feel guilty for taking my dog's fertility from her.

Call me crazy if you want. I know I sound like a loon.

Getting this out has already made me start to feel a little better. I know my dog will forgive me...in fact she will probably thank me for never having to diaper her again. She probably has no clue what even happened to her today.

This isn't really about her at all....it's about what Ben and I have lived through...INFERTILITY....you bitch! You move into our lives and you never really go away. You leave some of your stuff behind and clearly those things pop up at random times and places. We are definitely scared from our past. I suppose I have to accept that and try to move forward knowing that my heart will always ache (from personal experience) for those who have trouble or cannot pregnant. PEOPLE that is. I will try not to cry every time a dog gets spayed.

He’s my little sleepy angel:

Third Trimester!!

How far along: 26 weeks, 1 day

Total Weight Gain: 17 lbs

Symptoms: Heartburn people! Every single night I wake up with the worst heartburn ever. I have a Costco size container of Tums on my bedside table. Those seem to do the trick. Also my hands have been swelling a lot too. Yesterday I was out walking with a friend and my hands started to feel like they weighed 10lbs each...I looked down and they looked like a pair of blown-up latex gloves...yikes! My wrists were swollen too so I started moving my wrists in circle and wiggling my fingers a lot and raised my hands up in the air. It was hot outside so I don't think that helped any. When I got back in the air-conditioning the swelling went down a lot. Weird! I had to remove my wedding rings cause I'm afraid that one of these days they're gonna get stuck for good. I feel naked without them...I've never taken my rings off (except for cleaning them and maybe a few times when I was out gardening) since we got engaged. Boo!

Sleep: I still sleep very well. Happy about this because the tiredness has started to set back in. From weeks 14 - 24 I had so much energy, but now I get tired very easily again ... a lot like I did in my first trimester.

Best Moment Last Week: Playing the "poke game" with my baby. We do this all the time now! I gently poke a spot on my belly a few times, and then place my palm over that spot and wait. Within a few moments my baby pokes back right in that very spot. Next I choose another place on my belly and repeat. She almost always pokes back. It's so amazing to be playing a game with an unborn fetus. I love her so much!!! It melts my heart!!

Movement: See above

Food Cravings: Max and Erma's Hula Bowl Salad! Yum!

What I Miss: My husband!! He's been away on business all week.

What am I looking forward to: This weekend! My first MOTHER'S DAY!! We have big plans too! We are going to the Becoming Mom Spa to do a 3D/4D session. I can't wait to see what our baby's face looks like! I hope they are able to get really good shots!!!!!

Milestones: Making it to my third trimester!! Yay!!

How is Daddy? He's looking forward to coming home to see me and to rub my belly. :)

Weekly Update

How far along: 25 weeks, 2 days


Total Weight Gain: 15 lbs

Symptoms: Constant peeing!!

Sleep: Much better this week. Hopefully it keeps going this way.

Movement: Every day, but her kicks always seem to be be very low, like her feet are determined to stay right on top of my bladder. I thought that fetuses at this stage did more flipping about, but my baby girl seems happy to stay in the same position...give or take an inch...or so it seems from my end. I occasionally feel a tap around my belly button area, but I think those are her arms and head...who knows! I wish my belly were translucent like a fish bowl so I could watch her in there...I know, I'm a freak!

Food Cravings: Chipotle Steak Burritos...yum!

What I Miss: My memory! I seem to be so forgetful these days...like leaving my car doors open at night with the GPS inside and forgetting my yoga mat in the yoga studio, etc.... just simple things, but they keep adding up and it's bugging me!! I feel like such an airhead some days!

What am I looking forward to: Our next doctor's appointment!! (May 12th) I feel like each one resets my confidence and they always make me feel better. I'm just paranoid sometimes and even though I try to stop, it creeps up on me. Guess this is just the lineage that infertility leaves behind. Grr.

Milestones: Finishing my registry!! Seriously this may sound silly to some, but for me it was a real learning curve. I avoided all things baby when I couldn't get pregnant so now that this is real and actually happening for us I had to get out there and learn about all these things. I've called a lot of friends and researched a lot of products to determine which the best products are and what some of the things I really don’t need are. It feels good to finally be up to speed on baby gear so now when people say things like "travel system" I know what they're talking about!

How is Daddy? Great! He's going on a business trip next week, which I always hate, but at least this is his last one before Baby Morgan arrives!

Weekly Update

How far along: 24 weeks, 1 day

Total Weight Gain: 14 lbs (wow...2 lbs in one week! I guess this is when the weight starts adding up fast!)

Symptoms: My boobs are starting to change...darker nipples with trace amounts of clear fluid. I guess my ta-tas are getting ready to make some milk. So weird and kind of exciting!!

Sleep: Not so good the last couple of nights. It's not so much that I'm uncomfortable it's just that I've been waking up so many times that the night doesn't feel restful. Rolling over in bed is getting tougher and I'm more aware of trying to stay off my back and on my left side. I guess I'd better get used to it...this is just nature's way of preparing me to never have a long night's sleep ever again...or a least for a VERY long time once Morgan arrives.

Best Moment Last Week: Meeting our Doula and deciding that she will be an invaluable part of my birthing team.

Movement: Not as much these days. I think baby had flipped and turned inward and has her feet burrowed down near my bladder and cervix so every time I stand up I feel like I have to pee even if I don't or I feel a sharp pain on my cervix. Also some of her kicks seem to be going inward toward my organs so they feel strange and not as intense since my placenta is on the back wall of my uterus. I liked it better when she had her limbs facing out and when she was upside down so I can feel and see her leg kicks more. Oh well...as long as she's comfy, I'm happy.

Food Cravings: Frozen Snickers Bars...bad I know, but SO good!!!!

What I Miss: Nothing this week.

What am I looking forward to: Getting everything figured out on my registry...its a work in progress right now while I research products and ask experienced moms about there recommendations.

Milestones: Making it to viability (Fetus has a 50% of surviving outside the womb and odds just continue to increase from here.)

How is Daddy? Wonderful. We are so in love as we await the arrival of our miracle baby. This feels like a honeymoon of sorts. It's just so nice to have the weight of the infertility struggle lifted off us. We can make love again and not think about trying to conceive. We laugh easier and feel lighter in general. In a way we feel like the war is over and it’s a time of happiness and celebration!!!

Natural Childbirth and hiring a DOULA!

Having a natural, un-medicated, childbirth is very important to me. I really believe I can do it and I think it's what will be best for me and my baby. (I am by no means condemning pain drugs or obstetrical tools because I believe that they can be beneficial and necessary in certain times and places.) But for me, if there are no complications, I think that laboring and delivering naturally is what is best. I will be able to feel what is going on therefore I will be able to follow my own instincts and rhythm. Women have done this since the beginning of time so I have faith that I will be able to do it too.

No, I am not a hippy. I paint my nails pink, shave my armpits and wear pearls. I use Clorox cleaning products in my kitchen, and I don't even like granola. So that’s not what this is about. It's just what I believe is best for me and our baby. I am somewhat of a control freak so the idea of being hooked up to an epidural (in my SPINE) which would prohibit me from moving out of bed, and necessitate being catheterized to drain my urine is enough motivation (I hope) for me to endure the pain so I can hold on to my freedom through out my labor.

Yes, I know it is going to hurt worse than I could ever imagine, but I am choosing not to be afraid of the pain. Instead I look at is like this: What won't kill me will make me stronger. I can endure anything for one day. Millions and millions of women have experienced natural labor and lived to talk about it, so I believe the same can be true for me.

Why do I want to do this? Why would I choose to be in immense pain? There are a lot of reasons….too many to list, but mostly it's just what my gut tells me. Ben and I had such a hard time conceiving as we had to use so many interventions to get here. A doctor literally selected which sperm would unite with which egg and physically injected that sperm into my egg. If I think about it too much it makes my head spin. By choosing a natural birth we feel that were are taking some of our power back from medical technology. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond grateful for the interventions available and that we were able to afford it, and even more so that it worked for us. But at the time we had to succumb all our trust and faith over to a doctor and his medical process. Now I'm ready to take some of that back. I want to do this on my own without the help of doctors, technology and medicine. I want to feel human again and what is more human than giving birth naturally?

I have known this about myself from the beginning of my pregnancy. I selected my doctor because of his reputation for supporting women in their desire to give birth naturally. At our last appointment we were discussing my birth plan and he suggested that maybe a doula would be something we would find helpful. We met with one our doctor recommended this past weekend and I liked her very much. For those who don't know what a doula does here is a snipped from her resume that explains a little:

"I have been in practice for 26 years, and trained through ALACE (Association of labor Assistants and Childbirth Educators). I am very committed to helping women achieve a positive, informed, and powerful birth experience. My personal philosophy about birthing is that every woman is unique, and each of her birth experiences will also be unique. Some women need and desire lots of physical support during labor (back massage, compresses, help with positions, etc); other women need more emotional support; and others need only a "guide" along the way. Most moms need a bit of each! I feel that I am very flexible and realistic and will attempt to help each mom get to where she needs to be in order to achieve a wonderful birthing experience. I believe that a doula's role is to educate and support the mother in achieving the kind of birth she wants. I also strongly encourage the father to become as involved as he is able and willing, and am happy to guide them through this process."

After our doctor's appointment, I was on the fence about hiring a doula. I just wasn’t sure… It was Ben who really encouraged that we meet with her to see about what she can offer us. Ben wants to be as supportive as he can possibly be during my labor, but knows that he doesn't have all the tools and experience that a doula could bring us. He believes that it will be a better experience for both of us if we have someone who is devoted entirely to helping me through each phase of labor and delivery.

Can I really do it…natural childbirth? This is where a doula comes in. I believe with the help and support of my husband AND our doula that I will be able to reach my goal. I know there are going to be moments during my labor where I will wonder what the hell I was thinking, but I'm hoping that her support and experience will pull me through. That she can show me a position that will help with the pain or massage my back, encourage me to walk, or get in a warm shower when I feel like giving up.

The best part of her service is that she comes to our house as soon as I feel that labor is starting. This way I can labor at home through the early stages instead of going to the hospital too early. I know Ben and I are going to feel scared and anxious and having someone with us who has over 25 years of experience watching women labor will be very comforting. We will be able to trust her to tell us when the right time to head to the hospital will be. Ideally I would like to get there once I’m in active labor (4-8 cm dilated) so that I won’t have too many hours left before its time to push. I know for many first time moms early labor (going from 0-4 cm) can take many hours and I would rather be at home in my own bed, shower, floor, couch etc instead of pacing the white halls of a hospital.

Our doula is planning on visiting us at home for two prenatal visits prior to 37 weeks so that we can get to know each other and share any thoughts, anxieties or concerns that they may arise. In a way it feels like we are hiring a personal nurse to be 100% focused on me and my needs during L&D. I know the hospital assigns a nurse to each laboring woman but their main concern in monitoring the baby….which is GREAT, but I’ll be glad to have someone else whose main concern in MY wellbeing. I feel really good about our decision to hire this doula.

I know that certain things can and may happen that could keep me from achieving a natural childbirth. For example maybe our baby goes into distress because of the cord being compressed and she stops receiving an adequate amount of oxygen or maybe she is in the breeched position in which case I will need a cesarean. I recognize that these situations and others like them may happen, but they are very rare, so I’m choosing to plan for a “textbook” delivery all the while making sure I’m educated on all the possible scenarios. I am not going to say that I think drugs are bad, because it might happen that I need them or change my mind and decide to ask for them. I am trying to keep an open mind and be as well informed and prepared as possible. I am going with my gut now and it says, “Natural birth is best for me.” I hope that I can continue to follow my instincts all the way through my labor and up to moment of my baby’s delivery. I truly believe that having the support of a doula will help me achieve this.

Doctor's Appointment & Quiz

We had our monthly appt with the doc today. Everything checked out great! Baby's HB was 170 and she was all kicks and jumps during the appointment. I love the swooshing sounds that makes on the doppler. I am so in love with her already!! Here's a picture from today...

Weekly quiz...

How far along: 23 weeks, 1 day

Total Weight Gain: 12 lbs

Symptoms: A little heartburn recently...nothing a couple Tums can't fix. Other than that I feel fantastic!

Stretch Marks: Yeah I got some small ones...I'm not going to answer this question anymore. Stretch marks are inevitable and I'm not going to bring myself down every week thinking about them. It's a very small price to pay be able to experience pregnancy. Something I prayed and prayed to experience, so f*ck the stretch marks!! It's not like I was planning on wearing a bikini ever again anyway!! Haha

Sleep: I sleep very well! Lots of crazy dreams though....

Best Moment Last Week: Ben finally got to feel the baby kick. Her head was down so her legs were pointing up and she was kicking just above my belly button. He put his hand on my belly and right then and she kicked harder than ever before twice directly under his palm. Both times Ben short of jumped with surprise, wide-eyed and yelled, "Wow!" "Wow!" It was so awesome...like Baby Morgan knew it was her daddy and wanted to make sure he could feel her in there.

Movement: Every day...all the time. I love it!!!

Food Cravings: Fresh T O M A T O E S !!! Seriously I have been on a 'mater rampage. I've made caprese salads, bruschetta, BLT (heavy on the T) sandwiches, tomato and basil on toast...you name it! I've liked tomatoes in the past but recently they have been the best things on earth. Yum!

What I Miss: Being able to shave my lady business...I can't see over my belly anymore and I hate pubic hair. I mean I REALLY hate it!! I have always shaved (yeah...ALL of it) regularly so this is a new obstacle for me. I am considering getting a Brazilian wax...but I'm a little afraid. A) I know it hurts, but just how much?? And B) Pregnant lady getting a Brazilian? I'm afraid of the waxer person thinking I'm crazy or worse yet that I'm an over weight, pregnant stripper-hoe or something...what should I do???? Please help! Anyone who has experience in the field please fill me in!!

What am I looking forward to: Figuring out how to solve the problem listed above...

Milestones: Seeing baby kick on the outside for the first time this week and Ben being able to feel her move too!

How is Daddy? The best daddy ever!! He left work and drove all the way across town to meet me at the doctor's. Today was the shortest of appointments...a short weight in, blood pressure check, a quick listen to baby's HB, then pee in a cup and out the door. Super quick, but Ben wanted to be there with me and the baby. He is so supportive and interested and it makes me feel so loved. Today we are celebrating 5 years together and I still get those butterflies when I think about how much I love him. I am such a lucky Momma!!

Thanks!

Thanks everyone for your comments yesterday. I wrote the previous post because the news at the baby shower rocked me to my infertile core. The experience brought back all the horrid feelings of when I had to be around others who were pregnant when we were struggling after a failed IVF. I just hated to be the catalist of the akwardness and somehow that made me take on some of her pain. I guess old habbits (and mind sets) die hard!! I know there was no way for me to know and my other friends have all said they are SO sorry for not giving me the heads up. It's just a heart breaking senario that I've read about but to be there and be the one who brought it up was a doozy! Thanks again for all your loving and supportive comments. I love this community!!

I feel so terrible!!

 I went to a sweet baby shower on Saturday for a friend of mine who is also having a little girl. The weather was gorgeous and it just seems like the perfect day for such an event. When I walked in I was greeted by the three hosts who are all good friends to the mother-to-be. I gave everyone a hug and was really glad to be there with such a nice group of ladies. As I walked in the kitchen the host, whose house it was, offered me a "non-alcoholic" beverage since everyone else was drinking a champagne punch. I smiled and accepted. Last time I saw her, two months ago, she had just announced that she was 10 weeks pregnant. I loved hearing the news as I was only 4 weeks ahead of her so I instantly envisioned all the fun play groups we would have with all these pregnant girls expecting around the same time! As she handed me a glass of sparkling juice I happily asked her if she had found out if she was having a boy or a girl yet. Her face went straight and she said, "I just lost the baby last week." Her pain stung through my core and I felt SO stupid for asking her that question...especially in front of 3 or 4 other women. Of course I said I was so, so sorry. The mood totally changed int he room. I felt sick as she awkwardly changed the subject. She was very gracious and moved through the party as if nothing bad had happened recently and that someone (ME) hadn't brought that pain right to the surface with her question. She was amazing.


I enjoyed watching the big bellied momma open her gifts and smile at all her friends for being there celebrating this with her, but in the back of my mind I couldn’t fully focus. I kept thinking about what it must have been like for the host. How the hell could she still hold her head high at a baby shower at HER house after loosing her own baby only a short week before at 18 weeks along? Talk about a nightmare!!

I wanted to go hug her and tell her that her news made me hold back tears. I didn't know what to do. I left the party feeling like a complete ass for bringing it up. How was I supposed to know....She still looked pregnant because it had JUST happened!! I feel terrible for her and all the women who have lived through this. It is just heartbreaking!!

Quiz and a belly pic...

How far along: 21 weeks, 6 days
Total Weight Gain: 10.5 lbs
Symptoms: I feel fantastic all the time. I LOVE being pregnant. Even on days that I feel a little off, I just can't bring myself to complain...I have everything I have wished so hard for!!
Stretch Marks: A few...figure they are inevitable. I still use my Palmer's lotion every day just in case it might help.
Sleep: I sleep really well. Have to get up to pee once or twice a night, but I've gotten used to it.
Best Moment Last Week: Feeling her kick on the outside for the first time!
Movement: All the time!! She kicks harder and harder each day. Her Kung Foo moves even woke me up the other night. I LOVE the constant confirmation that she is doing well. And it melts my heart every time I feel her move. I am so in love!!!
Food Cravings: Chocolate milk and deviled eggs....don't ask.
What I Miss: Nothing...except a cold beer here and there now that the weather is warm and wonderful. :)
What am I looking forward to:  Going to Becoming Mom Spa...a place here in Cincinnati that does the whole 3D/4D experience. I am not scheduled to get another u/s from my doc until 34 weeks....yeah, like I can wait that long!! Plus we are eager to see what her face looks like!! I think we will go in the next month or so.
Milestones: Getting her nursery completed!
How is Daddy? Anxious to feel her kick. We keep trying but she always seems to stop her acrobatics as soon as his hand is on my belly. Maybe he'll be really good at soothing her to sleep when she comes out cause he seems to be doing that really well now. :)

Here are a couple photos from our weekend. We took our Jack Russell, Bunny, to the dog park to play some fetch since the weather was perfect...I LOVE spring!!
 

The NURSERY PHOTOS and her NAME!!

This nursery has been my pride and joy for the last couple weeks as we await the birth of our true pride and joy, MORGAN! I themed her nursery with flowers since they are some of my favorite things on Earth. What's prettier than a flower... or a baby girl??

The arm chair is a glider....and so comfy especially since I put the faux bear skin pelt on it!! I'm sure we'll use the fluffy pelt on the floor once Morgan is ready to sit up by herself. It's so fun to picture these things!

For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while....you might remember the dish of marble eggs in this photo? They we my lucky eggs I bought while I was going through IVF #2...they must be really lucky cause they worked and we're pregnant!! I figured they have to live in the babies room! I also especially like the all the curtains I cinched with an orchid flower.  (yeah it's not a real flower)

My dad made this corner cabinet years ago, and it was in the house I grew up in. I recently painted it so it would match the new baby furniture...it came out perfectly! I can't wait to tell our baby girl that her grandfather made this piece of furniture!

We have a baby gate up already to train our dogs so that they know they are not allowed in this room. Sorry puppies..baby only! Fortunately its one of those gates that swings open and shut easily so its no trouble for humans to come in and out of the room...especially when we'll be carrying our little Morgan!

This is a view of the Ohio River just east of downtown Cincinnati from my glider...I love this view and I know I will look at it a lot when I sit there to nurse her.

The chair with the bunny on it was given to me when I was 5 years old and it was in the room I grew up in...it feels so special to be able to use it in my daughter's room after all these years!!

See the doggies at that gate? It works! :)

I'm waiting for her first baby picture for the frame on the left. The one with the pregnant bean is a card my mother sent me when we first learned we were pregnant. I have always been called "Bean" by my parents so the card was very fitting and extremely special since my mom had been saving it for 5 years hoping that some day she would be able to surprise me with it!! It says, "Bean Expecting?"

I glued rhinestones in the center of these flowers to make them more sparkly...pictures just don't show how glittery and pretty they make the room look!

I glued the rhinestones on all of the frames too...and I did the flower collages in the frames! I had so much fun creating all of these. I'm really looking forward to the day when Morgan and I can go through all the pictures on the wall and name each kind of flower together....daffodil, lily, orchid,  hydrangia, rose, etc..

I decorated this lampshade myself...it's a one of a kind!! And that's a framed picture of our first ultrasound at 7 weeks....can't believe it's been 15 weeks since then!!! Only 18 more to go til baby girl gets here!!!!

Sorry I posted SO many pictures...I guess it just shows how much I love her baby room!! It think it looks so pretty in person...its so hard to capture a room in photos...that's why I posted so many pictures! :) 

I know that when she's born some of the flowers and breakables on the surfaces will be replaced with more useful things like wipe warmers and stacks of diapers, etc, etc. I also know that her room wont always look so perfect, but for now I'm enjoying it all set up. The things that get put up when she's a toddler can come back out again when she's a little girl...it's all part of the fun!!

Thanks for looking at these photos and sharing in my excitement!!

The COLD that won't quit!

I started coming down with this cold last Saturday (5 days ago). You know how that feels...the rawness in the back of your throat and nose that Tylenol does nothing to help. Rawness accompanied by achy, sneezing and headache...we've all had it. The stupid common cold. Usually, in my experience, these really uncomfortable symptoms last about a day or two then the congestion sets in and though you sound worse, you feel a lot better.

This time? Not the case! I'm thinking it must have something to do with being pregnant. I have had these awful raw symptoms for 5 days now. Where’s the snot?? The snot that soothes this terrible rawness that makes food taste horrible and even water feels gross going down. I would rather be so stuffy that I can't taste a thing than feel like this!!!

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer, but spring has Sprung and it's so nice outside, but I hardly feel like leaving my house. I guess all my body's nutrients and immunity are focused on growing a healthy baby, so that's why this cold is taking so much longer to kick. Ugh...any day now would be great!!

Nursery update: Even though I've felt like crap, I've been slowly getting things together in there. Little bits at a time then I go lay down. It's so much fun that I can't help myself even though I feel like shit. Pictures are coming soon!!

Happy Spring!!

I'm totally obsessed!!!

I'm totally obsessed with my baby girl and everything about her...nursery, clothing, bedding, gear and on and on and on!!!


I never imagined I would get so into decorating and all-things-baby, but it's all I think about and it's the most fun I've ever had. I guess I didn't realize how much I wanted a girl!!! What a blessing!

We picked out our nursery furniture set on Saturday and have to wait 7-10 days for it to be delivered!! Ugh...I am so excited to see the pieces in her room! We also bought her crib bedding set which is also taking forever to ship!! I know how impatient I sound and that must seem silly since we still have 19 weeks before she is suppose to arrive, but I am just so eager to get her room all set up so I can just sit there and admirer it. I told you I'm completely obsessed. I suppose it has a lot to do with the fact that it took us SO LONG to get here. All that time wanting to get to this point and never being sure if it would actually happen. Well, it is happening, so I am livin' it up as best I can!!!

(Of course I'll post pictures of the finished nursery when every eventually arrives!)

In the mean time I've been filling up my baby obsession with clothes shopping. I'm not buying that much, but I certainly am looking at every baby girl outfit in sight and buying the ones I can't resist!! I was at the mall yesterday looking in every baby store trying to keep my eye out for a very special dress. I wanted to find a tiny dress that was really well made and timeless. Something I can give to my daughter in years to come and tell her it was the first dress I ever bought for her. I went in the store, Janie and Jack, and found EXACTLY what I was looking for!! Blue velvet dress and bloomers, with embroidered pink roses in size 3-6 months. I figure she'll be wearing it this Thanksgiving! (I promise that this dress is MUCH prettier in person...photos just don't do it justice!)

I have looked at it about a thousand times since I brought it home. I just imagine it filled with our darling new baby and it blows my mind. I can hardly believe that we'll have our first child this summer. And that she'll be wearing this dress at Thanksgiving. Last year at Thanksgiving we were in our 2 week wait after IVF #2 and I hoped against all hope that this would be our future and now here we are living that dream....Amazing!!!

It's a..............

GIRL!!!

TEAM PINK!!!!!!!! :)

I'll update more later since Ben and I are going out to celebrate now, but I wanted to let all you wonderful bloggy friends know our exciting news asap. She is very healthy and everything looks perfect!! I have never been happier!!!! Time to SHOP for girlie nursery stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow's the BIG day!!

We have our 20 week anatomy scan tomorrow afternoon. Since the ultrasound is so long surely the technician will be able to finally determine the gender for us. I am so excited that I can hardly wait!! Boy? Girl? Hopefully tomorrow we won't have to wonder anymore!! And then I can SHOP!!!

We have started the basic plans for our nursery, but have wanted to know our baby's sex before buying anything...I can't wait to get the answer so I can start decorating!! :)

I had a dream last night that I was at the ultrasound and when the doctor put the wand on my belly we saw our baby's sweet little face and it was bobbing its head and mouthing words just like it was singing a song. Then he went to see if it was a girl or boy and I woke up....OH NO!!!! I wanted to know what it was!! Still it made me laugh that I dreamed that my baby was rockin out in utero!!

We're just praying for our baby to be healthy.

Only 27 more hours til it's baby viewing time!!!! YES!!

Belly Pic and the Aquarium

Today I went to the Newport Aquarium with my cousin and her 18 month old son. We had a blast looking at all the fishys! I was amazed by how different these "family" outings are for me now that I'm pregnant. I used to cringe at the thought of being surrounded by babies, toddlers, pregnant women and strollers all day, but now I felt right at home and saw it as a chance to observe how my life will be once our baby is born this summer. Holy crap I have a lot to learn!! For instance, my cousin just instinctively knew where all the elevators and ramps were...she said these are the types of things that you automatically learn as a new mom when you have a stroller every place you go. I can't wait to start this new adventure....still counting my lucky stars each day that I've been given the chance to experience the joy of becoming a Momma!!

After I got home and sat down to relax after being on my feet all day, my baby started fluttering away!!! Ahh....what a wonderful feeling!!! Best pregnant day yet!!

Quiz

How far along: 18th Week

Total Weight Gain: 9 lbs

Symptoms: I can't be on my feet for as long as I used to be able to. I hosted a dinner party over the weekend and by the end of the night I was exhausted. It was a fun evening so it was worth it. Other than that I have felt really like myself. I don't have any complaints. I really love being pregnant!

Maternity Clothes: For sure!! Tried a shirt the other day that I used to wear and it stopped above my waist...yikes!

Stretch Marks: Sadly, yes...but it's very light and I'm using Palmer's cocoa butter everyday. I figure they are inevitable since my mom and sister both got them, but I'm doing my best to minimize their appearance by using the lotion.

Sleep: Better now that we moved our little doggie back into her crate at night. She has been very spoiled and has slept with us for over a year, but now I just can't take it. Since it's harder for  me to get comfortable now, her movement is the bed was causing me to wake a lot in the night and I would push her off the bed. Sometimes that would wake Ben up too and we'd all three be awake...ugh. Now that we each have our own designated spot I think we are all sleeping better.

Best Moment Last Week: Walking the dogs with Ben and having it hit us all over again that I am REALLY pregnant and that we are REALLY expecting the baby we've dreamed about for so long!! It's so amazing to us!

Movement: Still very light flutters. I don't know if they've gotten lighter or I've gotten used to them, but sometimes I wonder if what I'm feeling is really the baby or just my digestion. I am getting very eager to feel stronger kicks so I am sure about what I'm feeling!! I know it should start happening soon so I'm trying not to be too impatient...it's tough though when everyone I know said they were feeling really unmistable kicks at this point!! Com'on Baby...Kick the Momma!!!

Food Cravings: I craved fried chicken last week which was strange since I used to find greasy fried chicken disgusting! Also I craved a milkshake last night and I found that odd too. I have never really cared for milkshakes. I have been doing my best to not indugle in every horrible craving I have and just stick to healthy, balanced meals. I also eat a Red Delicious Apple every night before bed....that's been my favorite snack of all!! 

What I Miss: Wine with dinner...

What am I looking forward to: Baby KICKS!!!

Milestones: hmmm...my stretch mark?...lol. Nothing really baby related since the last quiz since I still don't know the sex, and the kicks haven't really changed.

How is Daddy? Wonderful! I know he's really looking forward to the baby's anatomy scan on March 19th. We both can't wait to learn the gender of our little Pea!!

Things that make you go, "Hmmm??"

I got a call this morning from a woman named Colleen. She informed me that she is a Registered Nurse from Humana's Health and Wellness department. She continued on to tell me that because we have such a great insurance plan through my husband's employer that I can call her any time during my pregnancy if I ever have questions or concerns. She told me about their services and some of the informational packets and DVDs they are putting in the mail to me. All the while she held a tone of voice that tried to express sincere concern and interest in my wellbeing. As pleasant as she was, I could tell that she was reading from a script. I was also a bit skeptical about why my insurance company would be going out of there way to help me out...doesn’t that just cost them more money? I thought that insurance companies always tried to get away with paying as little as possible ... I mean com'on their bottom line is all about profit, right? Sick! Anyways, back to the mysterious phone call....


She proceeded to ask me some questions:

What kind of activities are you doing to help maintain fitness during your pregnancy?
I walk my dogs several times a day and do prenatal yoga twice a week.

What kind of food are you eating these days?
Lots of fruit, veggies, lean meat, milk, and tons of fluids, etc, etc...I'm doing my best to eat healthy.

Are you exposed to cigarette smoke or any other environmental factors that concern you?
No.

Ok, so these questions seem pretty normal for the general population. They are just making sure that I know how to live a healthy pregnancy...i.e. not eating McDonalds for every meal and sitting on my ass 24 hours a day while smoking like a chimney. I get it; some people really don’t know these things are really bad for a developing fetus...and YOU for that matter. (And that’s a whole other issue for another day….)

She continued with the questions...

An average, how many alcoholic drinks do think you consumer each day?
Now? Ummm....ZERO!

Has anyone ever told you that they are concerned about your drinking habits?
No.

Are you using illicit drugs or are use exposed to drug use?
Hell No!

This is when I started realizing the purpose of this call....they are trying to help lower their liability by educating their insured moms-to-be. They act like they care about us and our babies, but really they just don't want to have to pay for the aftermath of fetal alcohol syndrome, premature birth, low birth weight or a whole host of other potential tragedies.

Then the final questions came that ultimately sparked my reason for writing this post.

Do you ever feel depressed?
No, I feel great. I've never been happier!!

Do you ever have the urge to harm yourself?
Ahh...NO.

Have you have been treated for depression?
No

Do you feel anxiety or fear about the fact that you are pregnant?
Look lady, I went through almost 3 years of trying to get pregnant and my husband and I eventually did In Vitro twice to achieve this pregnancy...I can assure you that this baby is very much wanted and I am as far from depressed as I've ever been in my life! I am HAPPY and healthy!!

She was sweet and said, "I'm glad to hear that." She then explained that some women are prone to psychological disorders in pregnancy due to an increase in hormones and that's why she was asking me those questions. I thanked her for the "concerned" call and we hung up, but not before she let me know that they will be checking in on me about every 4 weeks through the rest of my pregnancy...oh joy!

Later when I was out (being healthy) walking my dogs I was thinking about this call, and the whole concept started to irk me. Where were these "concerned" phone calls from my so called "caring" insurance company (who denied a huge majority of our infertility claims) while we were undergoing multiple IVF attempts? Where were they when our first IVF failed and we were left with an empty bank account, no frozen embryos and shattered hearts? If they had given a shit and called, the mental health questions might have gone more like this...

Do you ever feel depressed?
Every horrible second of every miserable day. I cry constantly.

Do you ever have the urge to hurt yourself?
I feel so hopeless and defeated that I've thought about slitting my wrists a time or two... (Not really for real, but I'm making a dramatic point here.)

Have you ever been treated for depression?
Not yet, but I am considering discussing an antidepressant with a doctor because I feel like I live under a dark, dark cloud all the time and its very hard to find any joy in my life.

Do you feel anxiety or fear about the fact that you're NOT pregnant?
Yes. I am terrified that I might never become a mother, that we will never hold our baby in our arms. I feel anxiety about this every day and it keeps me up at night. I don’t function like a normal person…I can't look at babies or pregnant bellies and I am becoming more and more withdrawn. Basically I’m all fucked up these days!!

See!!! When these would have been my answers I got NOTHIN' from this big, RICH company. They were no where to be seen when we needed their "Health and Wellness" support the most. And they think they can fool me into believing that NOW they care about me just because I'm pregnant. Please!! What a lame joke!!

** I am very grateful for my medical coverage because I know there are a lot of people who don't have any coverage at all. I just think is way fucked up that most insurance companies and healthcare plans turn their heads the other way when couples are dealing with a DISABILITY called infertility, but you can bet your ass they cover every other disability in the book. It just infuriates me that they treat having a family as 'elective' like having 'plastic surgery.' Insurance companies just have to make their profit, profit, profit!!! Ugh!!

Ok...my nasty rant is over with...I really am the happiest I've ever been in my life, I just had to get that off my chest! Back to smiles....

OMG!! WTF??

Has anyone seen the show Platinum Babies?

I just stumbled upon it this afternoon on the WE channel and no matter how much it shocked me I couldn't stop watching. Part of its ok...cute nursery ideas, shower game ideas, etc., but the rest of it is completely unnecessary!!

This one couple had a baby shower that cost them.... $75,000.00 .... I threw up a little bit in my mouth when I saw it!! Then these moms-to-be were given gifts like Gucci baby shoes ($250.00) and designer diaper bags ($2200.00) Seriously?? Do you think their babies really know the difference....NO!! Let's get real people!! Total NON-SENSE I tell ya!!!

Of course all these bitches got pregnant really easily too....I guess some people just have it all. GRRR!!!

I realize I sound like a big bitch right now....I'll blame it on my hormones!! LOL

Fetal Doppler

BEST PURCHASE EVER!!!!

It works beautifully, and it's the greatest feeling to be able to lay in bed, put the doppler on my belly and listen to my baby's heart beating away. What a relief to have this tool at home!!! I think this could be the end of my paranoia. Hurray!! (I'm sure my doctor will be please about this too...hopefully no more "freak out" appointments!!)

Baby's heart rate was 166 bpm this afternoon same as it was on Wednesday at my appointment with Dr. F. I could listen to this sound ALL day ... it's my new favorite song!!!

"Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop".... I'm so addicted!!!!!!!

If you are considering getting a doppler....DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!

I panicked and called my OB!

I was feeling so confident and happy after my 14 week appointment, then as time ticked by anxiety set in. I haven't felt a single flutter in many days...I know this is normal, but it still makes me worry. I have also lost 5 pounds which seems really odd now that I'm this far along. To top off my freakout I had a horrible nightmare that my baby died. Yesterday I reached my breaking point and decided to call my OB with a little nudge from a friend of mine. She helped me realize that that's what my doctor is for and he shouldn't have a problem with helping to calm my nerves. I also feel like being anxious is the wrong environment for a growing baby so I made the call!

I AM SO GLAD I DID!! The receptionist was extremely understanding and offered to have my doctor call me as soon as he could. He did just a hour or so later...from his cell phone...and was so welcoming and sensitive. He said, "Ohh...I don't want you upset!! Why don't you come in tomorrow morning and we'll take a little look! Okay?" I was so happy to have his support and not feel blown off the way I have so many times in the past by my RE.

So this morning I showed up 15 minutes early and expected a long wait since I didn't have an appointment and was being "sqeezed" in. They called me back in less than 5 minutes. I was so surprised!! Then the nurse who took me back to the room was so friendly and compassionate. She told me how she felt the same way with her first baby and that I shouldn't feel foolish at all for coming in for a "mind calming" visit. Then she told me that the doc was going to do an ultrasound so I could see the baby with my own eyes! I was stunned! I was sure he would only use a doppler for a few seconds just to prove to me that there was still a heartbeat and then send me on my way. Nope, he was going all out for this paranoid mama!!! How nice is that!?!?!?!

He instantly located the heartbeat and I literally felt a huge weight lifted off my worried mind as I took a big sigh of relief. I'm not sure how I got so worked up with worry that there was something wrong with my baby, but seeing that little heart pump was the best feeling EVER. Since I start week 17 tomorrow he told me that he would be able to tell me the gender for sure by now. Since Ben wasn't with me I told him that I wanted to know, but not until my husband could find out at the same time. Dr. F suggested that since he was recording the sonogram on DVD (yes, he doubled checked that this time it was actually working) that he write "boy" or "girl" on the screen while I look away and then Ben and I could watch the DVD together later. I loved the idea and told him to go for it! It turns out that the umbilical cord was running right between Baby's legs, so once again he couldn't determine the sex no matter how hard he tried. This baby really doesn't want us to know it's secret!! Ha!! Oh well...we have our anatomy scan in 3.5 weeks so hopefully then we will finally learn if we are having a son or a daughter. Dr. F did get a shot of my baby sucking its thumb though! This picture totally melts my heart!!!

Boy or girl...it doesn't matter! Our baby is healthy and that is all we want!! He told me that the HB was 166bpm and that Baby was meauring 4.5 inches from head to it's little bottom (that doesn't count the legs.) So we have a perfectly healthy babe. My doc used these exact words, "Everything looks awesome!" Ahhh....sweet relief!!

I also ordered a fetal doppler yesterday from Ama.zon. I figured that if I could listen to the HB at home whenever I want then I will probably not freak out as easily anymore. Based on the reviews the doppler got, it seems like it will work great. I'll update when it arrives!

Ps. I nominated some of my bloggy friends for an award yesterday (I wish I could have nominated so many more of you wonderful ladies) so if you missed that post please be sure to go check it out!! Love you guys!! XOX

All of YOU Make My Day!!!

My blog was awarded as one that makes someone's day!!! Thank you Wifey for this very sweet blogger award!! It truly made my day!! Wifey is a fantastic blogger who is finally expecting her first miracle baby after 2+ years of TTC...stop by and congratulate her if you have a few moments.

10 things that make my day (in no particular order):

1. Personal mail! It's the best feeling ever to open my mailbox and have a card or letter that someone handwrote ME! It's so special to get "real mail" anymore. I try to send notes here and there to make others' days too. I need to get better at it!!

2. Email, Facebook, Instant Messages and Phone calls! Even though I get a lot more of these than snail-mail it still makes my day. When my blackberry makes its alert sounds I still get a littel jolt of excitement. I love hearing from my friends!

3. A Sunny Day! There is nothing like a perfect weather...no matter the season. A hot day in summer by the pool, a spring day with the birds chearping and the flowers blooming, a sunny winter day with snow gleaming, or a bright fall day with rustly leaves. All four seasons can make my day!

4. Nice people! Making eye contact and getting a smile, a door held for you, or having someone say, "after you" all make my day. It just nice to be reminded that some people out there are aware of others and go out of their ways to be polite and pleasant. I always try to remember to do the same even if I am having a bad day...no reason to bring others down with me by being gloomy.

5. A closet full of clean clothes! There's nothing like the day after laundry day when every piece of clothing you own is clean, hung up and ready to go. You can wear whatever you want!

6. Reading that someone in blogger-IF world got a BFP!!!! We are all hoping for miracles, so I'm always thrilled when they actually happen for one of us!!

7. No lines at the grocery store!! Isn't it great when you can cruise your cart right in the lane and start unloading immediately?!? It doesn't always happen, but when it does I feel special and it makes my day!!

8. Every night when my husband gets home from work!! After 5 years together I STILL get excited to see him each and every evening. I love watching our dogs greet him too. They have no problem showing their excitement....like they haven't seen him in weeks. It's a wonderful daily reminder of all the love we have in our home.

9. Going out to dinner! I like to cook so my husband and I usually stay in, but when we go out it makes my day to still have a clean kitchen with no dishes when we get home!!

10. Getting comments from my bloggy friends. It is the best feeling ever to know that there are people out there who are reading my blog and writing breif comments to lend support or show interest in me. Thank you!!

I nominate the following bloggers (in no particular order) who all make my day on a regular basis. Thank you ladies...you have no idea how much your words mean to me!!!! (Sorry I can't nominate ALL the blogs I read.)

1. Tracey at Creating Baby Johnson is in her 13th week of pregnancy after toughing it through 5 IVF cycles. She is the strongest chick I know!! I couldn't be happier for her!!

2. Sonja On (In)Fertile Ground is about to start her 18th week with her quadruplet pregnancy. She and her 4 babies are living proof that embryos don't have to be perfect quality for a miracle (or 4 in her case) to happen. All are healthy and happy and I pray that they stay that way through the rest of her pregnancy and beyond.

3. Below Average Athlete Just got her first BFP after a FET!!! I am THRILLED for this West Coast Mama!!!

  

4. Emily at A hope and a wish for a gift from a petri dish is in her 8th week and pregnant with twins after a FET. She is feeling morning sickness in full force and facing a move this weekend! I'm rooting for ya Emily!!

5. Jem at Ambivalent Womb has been through a lot of loss these days. I have shed tears with her and I pray that the sun will shine for her soon!

6. One Who Understands is just starting her first IVF-ICSI cycle and I am really cheering for her!! Come on BFP!!

7. Babygaga is only two days ahead of me with her pregnancy. She is now starting her 17th week. It's been fun to follow her!

8. Brooke at Scifibaby just got at BFP after a FET. She has had so much faith and patience as I've been following her. She is really inspiring!

9. Rachel at Our Journey, But Not Our Plan has been through the ringer with TTC. She is now exploring adoption. Her strength is remarkable!

10. Lin at Our Someday Family is proof that miracle babies are possible. She got her BFP just days before starting IVF #1 for MFI. It's been fun following her throughout her pregnancy so far.

11. Sabine at A Land Far Away (She was already nominated by Wifey so I figured it would be ok if I listed 11 bloggers.) Sabine is about to turn 30 and is looking for 30 ideas of things to do this year that she's never done before. It's her "30 for 30" list! If you have a good idea please go let her know!!

Now it's your turn to List 10 Things That Make Your Day and then list 10 Blogs that you think are worthy of this award.

For all you DOGS out there...

This morning I was staying in bed taking it easy since I over did yesterday and I'm feeling it now. Huge blogging nerd that I am, I grabbed my laptop as soon as I woke up to see what was going on out in cyber space. I checked my email, some news, Olympic updates, and of course my friends blog entries. As I typed a comment to a fellow blogger it occurred to me that my left hand was heavy and not working very well. This is what I saw! Look who love's me:

It's my Jack Russell, BUNNY!!! Of course, with my right hand, I grabbed my blackberry to take this picture. She is always cuddled up with me, but for some reason, this morning it caught my attention. The love of dogs is unlike anything else. (Yes, I'm a dog person, but I'm sure cat people feel the same way about their kitties!)


A canine's loyalty and affection is the most comforting thing ever! This little pup has been with us for most of our infertility journey...well, we got her several months after we learned it was going to be a long, hard road. She was our first baby, really. We raised her together since she was 9 weeks old. It has given us an outlet to express some parental love and nurturing. Even though she's just a puppy, it was something to hold and love while we've waited.

So this morning while she lovingly rested her sleepy head on my hand I was reminded of all the times she loved me when I needed it most. She never said the wrong things like, "just try to stress about it," or "at least you are still young." She let me feel whatever I wanted to feel, and she never judged me for a moment. She didn't try to solve my problems, and she never grew tired of me. She was the perfect companion in those dark hours.

So this post is goes out to all the dogs (and cats) who are helping us along the way. Your love is priceless!!

Thank you Puppies!!!!

Belly Pics & Weekly Quiz

This is so fun!! I LOVE being pregnant and watching my belly grow!! I am so grateful for this gift.

5th Week (My Baseline Figure)

15th Week!

I got the following quiz from some fellow bloggers and decided I would join in the fun by answering the questions once a week. Here goes...

How far along: 15th week. I have never been happier!!!

Total Weight Gain: 6 lbs...Looks like a lot more to me, but I'm not complaining!! :)

Symptoms: Nothing bad. I've been very lucky. I am hungrier these days and I get out of breath a lot easier than I used to but that's not a big deal. I had some back pain from weeks 7-9 but that has gone away completely. Overall I have been feeling great this whole time. All smiles here!

Maternity Clothes: Absolutely!! In the pictures above, I'm wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt...the only clothes I used to wear that still fit me. I would never go out in public wearing these now, so I've made the switch to maternity pants and tops. They are very comfortable much more flattering.

Stretch Marks: Nope...I've started using lotion on my belly every day to keep the skin supple. I hope that I never get them!! We'll see......

Sleep: I sleep very, very well. (Except I get up to pee about 3-4 times a night, but this can't be helped.) I've moved a body pillow into our bed which really helps keep my knees comfortable. In all honesty, I feel that I should never complain about my comfort at night since Ben and I purchased a Tempurpedic mattress a couple years ago. They really are as amazing as the advertisements say they are. It was worth every penny!! After owning the bed for over two years I still look forward to crawling into it each night. Ok, now that I am starting to sound like those commercials I'll move on to the next question.

Best Moment Last Week: Our 14 week ultrasound!! Watching the baby move around and listening to the heartbeat is so incredible. I am so in love with our baby already!!

Movement: YES!! Only a few times here and there for the last couple weeks but they are unmistakable baby flutters. The best way I can describe it is this: Imagine the feeling you get when your eyelid starts twitching involuntarily. Well that's what it felt like to me when I first felt it. I thought my uterus was twitching involuntarily and then it hit me!! "That's my baby moving....the uterus doesn't twitch like that on its own!!!!" Since I've never felt anything like it before, I knew exactly what I was feeling!! Similar to gas pains? Yeah right!!! They are completely different!! And WONDERFUL. It makes me smile all day after I get that sensation. I love it!!

Food Cravings: Whole grapefruits...I love to peel them and eat each piece individually! Also PB&J sandwiches with a big glass of milk. I find this one weird cause I used to never like them...even when I was a kid. And the next one many of you will think is totally weird, but it is actually something I did eat when I was a child...Cream cheese and pickle sandwiches....haha....yum!! My cravings have been all over the board....these are just a few recent ones I can think of. We'll see what I'll be putting together next week!

What I miss: GOOD Wine!! I have always enjoyed cocktail hour, so skipping that is one thing I really do miss. But it’s totally worth it. I'll just appreciate a great glass of wine that much more when baby comes!!

What am I looking forward to: Our next ultrasound...of course!! Every glimpse I get of our baby is magic to me!! Our next one is March 19th (I'll be in my 20th week) so I have some waiting to do....

Milestones: I'm not affraid all the time!! Ever since our last appointment when we got confirmation that we made it through the first trimester with flying colors I have been able to relax a bit. I am gaining more and more confidence that things will be ok. I'm learning to trust that this pregnancy is strong and that we can believe that we are finally 'normal.' I'm ENJOYING my pregnancy instead of being paranoid!!

How is Daddy? Just as excited as I am. He is very protective of me and our baby. He won't let me do things like shovel snow and is always asking what he can get for me. He is also eager to learn the gender, but he's much more patient than I am. I couldn't have asked for a better husband...I know he will be an amazing father!!

That's it for now...thanks for reading!! :)